WARNING: This was written on a caffeine rush.

So today was free mocha Monday at McDonalds, and I somehow I got my hands on three free cups of iced coffee. I'm having a little trouble typing right now because of all the extra letters that I'm putting. Since I haven't written anything for almost two weeks, I should probably make this entry kind of long. I'll try not to be too boring though...hopefully.

Let's see...the first most important thing that I can think of to talk about is the completion of my personal solo video. It's called "This Past Feeling" because of the song I used and the theme of the video (I'm so creative!). The song, called "This Feeling," is a remix of the First Victory song from the first Phoenix Wright game. I chose the song because it was happy and upbeat, without being too, uh, girly. The second song, "Dear Friends," is from Final Fantasy V and made me think of how far I've come since elementary school. I've made so many dear friends in my life, and I think it all started on that playground, too.

Interesting things about the production of the video: Much tape was used. No, not film tape, but electrical tape. I used it to hold my camera onto various objects found around the set. Having a small camera has some advantages, but lots of tape on a windy day equals a lot of frustration. I'm surprised how durable my camera is; it fell onto cement twice and into a water fountain once. The water fountain actually cleaned the screen of the camera, so I guess that wasn't such a bad thing.

Oh yeah...about the new banner. Um, personally, I think it's pretty. It's a lot more exciting than my previous banners at least. The only thing bad is probably the broken and/or made up Latin that I used. It's probably easy to guess that the first line means "Irreplaceable time flees." But, I had to look up a Latin translation for "like" and came up with "velut". The title is supposed to mean "Irreplaceable time flees like a fantasy," but it probably doesn't. Also, I couldn't find a Latin word for fantasy... Ah well, it looks nice at least.

I've also changed my lifelong goals list to a Final Fantasy progress list. It lists my approximate progress in each game. Hopefully I'll get one of those to 100%! I bought Final Fantasy: Dawn of Souls the other day, which is the GBA version of numbers I and II, and I think I angered the game somehow while playing it though. While in a dungeon, I had NINE random encounters in a row. In other words, that's nine battles in nine steps taken. It was incredibly frustrating, yet hilarious at the same time. I think the game's God (aka the Random Number Generator) hates me.

For the past week, I've been watching The Speed Gamers Final Fantasy marathon, which was streamed live. They're a group of college students who played Final Fantasy games for an entire week and raised over $50,000 for autism care and treatment. See? Who says video games are a waste of time? They were even featured on the CBS news. Their next project is a Mega Man marathon starting August 14 for earthday.org. Man, if only we could do this for WE at our school.

I went to Angel Island with my grandpa and my other relatives from China yesterday. We took a ferry from Tiburon, the birthplace of the mountain bike, to get there. Then, we hiked half an hour up steep stairs and winding roads to get to the Immigration Station (Wow! More creative names!). It's the biggest attraction of Angel Island and is where Chinese immigrants were detained and interrogated. In one room, there are almost 100 different poems carved into the wooden wall. Sadly, a lot of it has been painted over and is barely legible. It's still nice to see them in person though...even if I can't read it.


Oh no! My senior picture day is tomorrow! I'm nervous because I'll be getting a haircut right before I get my picture taken. What's so bad about that? Well...I'll be getting a haircut at a place that's not my bathroom for the first time in like a decade. I'm feeling very anxious, but it just might be the caffeine. Hopefully they won't cut it too short; I need long hair to hide my forehead.

It is impossible to predict what the future has in store for any of us.

That is precisely why people feel the need to judge the past.

Ah, this quote makes sense. Since we don't know what lies ahead in the future, we tend to look back at what has already happened to search for some hints. This can cause people to dwell in the past and let it control their futures. I hope I don't let that happen to me.

I hope I am more careful about how I ride my bike in the future as well. I made a man very angry today when I came out of nowhere into the middle of the road. It's my fault for blasting my Phoenix Wright tunes, even if I only had one earphone in. I was more concerned about cars coming down the hill that I completely forgot that there are some cars that actually climb up the hill as well (go figure). If I had ridden onto the road even a couple of seconds later, then he would've probably hit me. I should've realized that my bad hearing would get the best of me someday. I don't think I should be allowed to listen to any sort of music while riding my bike anymore.

Also, about my hearing...for some reason, I have trouble hearing people sometiems, even when they're right in front of me. A lot of times, I'll just smile and nod, pretending to have heard what they said. Usually, this only happens when there's a lot of background noise, like at a party or even at school. Most of the time, I'll go "What?" and/or stick my ear in front of your face. I apologize in advance (and for the past) for when I do this to some of you. Though, I know I've done it to pretty much all of you already. This may also be a result of blasting my jamz too loud.

Now that I think about it, maybe my hearing isn't bad. Perhaps it's just my inability to read lips. In case you already haven't noticed, I have this problem of not looking at the person I'm talking to (unless I feel really comfortable around them, which is rare). I'll usually not look at that person's face and stare off into space. I think the only person who has commented on this about me was...Mr. O'Shea...

P.S. About today's quote...it's from Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations. I'm finally almost done with the game and Godot (the prosecutor) gave this statement, which I found to be a very true reflection of human nature. At least, I think it is. This is Godot...listening to some Phoenix Wright tunes, no doubt.

How far I've come from my childhood home!

There will come a time when my troubles are gone
And when I shall not be all alone—
Till then, I dream of my home, sweet home

Lately, I've been feeling kind of empty inside, like my life lacks a purpose and meaning. I've been feeling like the things I do won't really matter in the long run. I need some sort of motivation to keep me going and doing stuff. Normally, people have a reason to do what they do, or at least have some sort of goal to reach. This must be like some sort of mid-teen crisis.

It seems like I've been losing a lot of things that have been close to me. If Nez isn't going to be there next year pushing me to do my best, who will be? If the school is going to go on strike in the beginning of the year, is there any point in trying to learn this year? A lot of things that used to be a big deal now seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Lately, I've been worrying about where I'm going and how I'm going to get there. I've also been wondering about who will be joining me on the trail through darkness known as the future. Hm, maybe I'm just talkin' crazy talk or maybe the summer heat has gotten to my head. My mind HAS been getting lost in these summer doldrums.

I suppose no matter where I go, I'll always have music to accompany me. I downloaded all three of The Black Mages' albums today. For those of you who don't know, The Black Mages are a Japanese rock band who cover Final Fantasy songs (The composer happens to be the keyboard player). Brian also introduced me to this very pretty song called Flowerdale. It features an all brass ensemble and a solo cornet. The high notes that the cornet hits are just crazy...and very, very pretty.

P.S. I feel obligated now to explain where my titles come from. This one comes from the lyrics from a Final Fantasy V song called "My Home Sweet Home." It tells the story of a boy returning to his hometown after leaving on an adventure for a long time. So basically, the song is all about remembering the memories of the past, after having come a long way into the future.

Here we go now, on the offense.

I should really consider writing more frequently. It's gotten to the point where I only post once a week, and that's not cool at all. I guess I should recount the highlights of the past week, assuming I remember it.

The most depressing thing that happened was, of course, hearing that Nez retired. It was like losing a family member, even though I know I'll still see him. Still, I was surprised how much it saddened me when I found out. I thought about everything that he taught me, and how much I learned to appreciate good music and the lessons that can be learned through simply stopping to listen for the story of a song. We're apparently supposed to write a letter to him full of good, positive words and memories, but I can't seem to think of anything to say that isn't sad.

Progress on my video project is actually going pretty well. I'd say I'm over halfway done. The hardest part is probably choosing a song for it. There are two completely different directions that I can take this video, and I'm not entirely sure which one I should traverse. Maybe I'll just flip a coin, Harvey Dent-style.
As for my little dream project, things could be worse I suppose. I was able to recall a couple of dreams though. I even wrote them down, well, the parts that I could remember. There was one where I was driving an empty bus in the desert by myself, and another dream where I broke an old lady's giant bonsai tree.

Hanging out with friends on Independence Day was fun. I was tempted to call it "Independence From Women Day" since it was all guys. Swimming in Will's pool was painful because it was so freezing cold. My entire body was literally turning purple. We played frisbee in the park by the bay in Hercules, but for some reason, I kept getting distracted by...ah, never mind. It's not important. The fireworks were okay, I guess. I think watching the Disneyland fireworks show over five times has spoiled me. But, once I started listening to some "Star and Stripes Forever" and "The Star-Spangled Banner", the fireworks in Hercules became ten times more interesting and immersive. Being near the bay reminded me of when "The Star-Spangled Banner" was written: in Fort McHenry, on the Chesapeake Bay. The fireworks were reminiscent of the bombs bursting in mid-air, as written by Francis Scott Key.

Having very little Interact experience and having not done anything Interact-related in almost two years, I have been chosen to act as the club's Secretary...of War. I don't know why, but the position of secretary is appealing to me. It's the job in the shadows, which fits what I like to do. And no, that's not stalk people.

Son of a submariner!

I'm officially obsessed with Final Fantasy again. Hopefully I'll be able to finally, FINALLY, beat a game from the series this summer. By the looks of it, I think it'll be VI. I've set the personal goal for myself to beat every single game in the series, well, the ones that matter anyway (that would be numbers one through nine). I still haven't decided whether I want to beat them in numerical order or not. Maybe I'll do that sometime in the far future, when I've beaten them each at least once. A marathon Final Fantasy run sounds kind of fun...considering I lack what some people call "a life."

Speaking of how bored I am, I finally discovered the mind-blowing concept of "lucid dreaming" today. I can't believe no one has told me that this exists! If you've been living under a rock (like I have), then I should let you know that lucid dreaming means you have the ability to control anything that happens in your dream! With practice, you'll be able to do anything you want like fly, talk with your own subconscious, or even live out weeks at a time in your sleep! Bottom line is: you will have more spare time to do anything you want.

Apparently, the first step to harnessing this ability is to remember your dreams. Sadly, this is something that I can never do. So...starting tonight, I'm keeping a journal of my dreams. This is assuming that I can remember them long enough to actually write them down. It's recommended to tape record yourself, but I don't want my mom to think I'm crazy. I probably sound really crazy right now, but I mostly want to see if this actually works. Scientists have proven this concept and people on the internet say they can do it, so why not? They're never wrong!

Even if I can't have lucid dreams, at least I'll be able to have a journal of my dreams. I really want to be able to remember the dreams that I have. Whenever I think back to an event, sometimes I can't even remember if what happened was a dream or reality. Hopefully I'll be able to keep an accurate account of what goes on in my subconscious mind.


I really need a big roll of duct tape. I would tell you why, but it's a secret! But I CAN tell you that I am kind of planning a video that I want to make. I've also come up with a couple of rules for myself, too.

Rule 1: I have to do all filming, editing, and planning by myself.
Rule 2: I can't use a tripod (mostly because I don't have one. Heck, I don't even know if my camera will fit on one).

I enjoy setting limitations for myself, because I like the challenge...either that or I'm a masochist. It also forces me to be a little more creative in how I go about things. This will be my first attempt at filming an actual video, ever. Doing it by myself will be good, I think, because I can learn from my own mistakes. So yeah, this project is pretty much a big test. It'll test: how well I can operate without other people telling me what to do, whether my new editing software works, and what the video quality of my camera looks like. So don't expect it to be an amazing video, since it's really just a test video.

Luckily, I've got myself a couple of tiny notebooks to write down ideas (and maybe dreams?) in. The best part is that they fit in my back pocket! Now that I think about it...I have a feeling that I'll break them if I sit down. Darn...that's how I broke my library card.

Oh man, there's a long story behind this picture. I'll just say that it was very difficult to achieve the angle that I needed. I had to use everything in my pockets, including my DS and a lobster bib.

P.S. I reread my post, and I realize that I make a ton of mistakes. I fixed most of them in this one, but I probably say a lot of things in other posts that make zero sense.