In this darkness that you know you cannot fight,

The darkness of the music of the night.

Blah. I've been feeling so uninteresting lately, but I don't know why. I just feel like I have nothing to say that anyone would care to hear.

Well, we watched our film projects today, and I'm really happy that mine was so well received. It makes me glad that days and days of work didn't go to waste after all. I have to admit; watching those tallies go up for Best Soundtrack and Best Editing put a smile on my face. Those were the two subjects I worked completely by myself in (Well, I did ask Daniel for a little feedback on editing). I'm actually really happy with how the movie came out. I was able to produce something that wasn't complete garbage! Next project for me is a blooper reel of our project.

I'm kind of nervous for tomorrow...because things are not looking very auspicious for me.

Finally wrote a blahg!

Sigh, I don't know why, but I haven't felt like writing a blog lately. Maybe because I feel like my life is so topsy-turvy and busy right now. Hopefully a carefree weekend at Disneyland will alleviate me of all of my worries. Anyway, I guess I should recap the things that happened over the weekend.

After school on Friday, I left for Santa Clara, and I stayed there for about two hours before I went back home. In those two hours I drank fruit water, stripped in the parking lot, and ate In-N-Out. I got home at about 9:00 PM, and then I called my group together to start filming at my new house. I biked around my neighborhood while waiting for everyone. I kind of like riding a bike now; it makes me feel like a Pokémon trainer.

Anyway. It took us over three hours to finish about 5 minutes of usable footage. Sigh, I really hope I did a good enough job of editing, but I have a feeling that I didn't. It doesn't seem very scary, and Windows Movie Maker sucks. At least it's better than my last video.

I woke up the next morning and prepared myself for the Jazz Band gig. It was my second time performing my solo, and I'm actually happy with it! Maybe there really IS something to this whole practicing thing.

On the way back to Santa Clara, I uploaded all of the footage onto my laptop. Daniel and I made it back with fifteen minutes of lunch left. Heck, we beat Jeannie and the others to the hotel, even. The most interesting thing that happened that day was when this girl called out to me and said that she recognized me from badminton last year. I'm VERY surprised that she actually remembered what I looked like. I kind of feel bad because I didn't recognize her, or even remember her, at all. Though, I kind of remember what she said to me during my game last year...vaguely.

Another highlight of that day, well, it's more like the early morning of the next day, was watching male kickboxing. They get into the strangest positions and have the funniest facial expressions. Also, drinking three cups of coffee made me wake up with wide eyes at 6:00 in the morning.

Lalala. Too lazy to explain how I got home, but when I got home, I did a lot of editing, and I'm almost done! I'm also kind of scared of the Swine Flu, especially since I'm going to Southern California in a couple of days...very close to Mexico.
I used to love you, man!

My posts are getting smaller and smaller.

Oh man. Tomorrow is going to be so weird. Jazz band at lunch. Spring State after school. Filming at NIGHT. It's crazy!! I really have no idea what kind of surprises are lying in wait for me tomorrow. But I just know something retarded is going to happen, and that absolutely NOTHING will go according to plan. Should be fun.

I can't think of a clever title.

Well, the good news is that I got about ten hours of sleep last night. The bad news is that I was late to class for the very first time this year! It's terrible! Well, not really. I was only late by like...uh...seven minutes. While I was walking to school this morning, there were certain clues that led me to believe that I was kind of late...that something was amiss....I was like the only Asian out there and everyone else was of the darker variety. A group of black girls even came up to me while I was walking and we had a jolly good time shooting the breeze. It was pretty funny.

Practicing on an empty stomach wasn't too much fun. But practicing with a $70 racket was! I felt like God! If God is Asian and plays badminton, that is. I really want to get one of those NICE Yonex rackets now.

Music update: Ah, I forgot how awesome Joe Hisaishi is. Good thing I reminded myself by downloading a Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind Suite. So awesome.Platinum progress tracker: I finally think I have a solid team idea right now. I even have five of my six guys already! Well, four of them are still very low levels. Hopefully I can complete this team before the end of the year...And, hopefully I don't change my mind again, since I'm losing sleep over this thing. I doubt I will though. This team is starting to look sweet.

When you wish upon a star.

Yeah, I stole Schwanka's idea. Get some.

Actually, I downloaded that song today without even thinking about those STAR tests we took today. Yay, I love irony! I almost fell asleep while taking that stupid thing. Sigh...maybe I need more sleep. I also downloaded some piano versions of other Les Miserables songs, like Castle on a Cloud, which I've been looking for for over a year now.

Sigh, I think I'm developing Senioritis already. I seriously don't feel like doing ANYTHING right now. Except sleep...

My cat seems to have the right idea.

I dreamed a dream of time gone by,

When hope was high, and life worth living.

It finally feels like summer! And I hate it! So much! I am way too excited about my own hate! Today was also 4/20. The day when all the smartest people at school cut to do all sorts of horrible things to their bodies. Yet, I didn't hear anyone talk about Columbine or anything, at school. Ah well, I guess this shows where the minds of our fine students are at. I also think it's kind of funny how I used to hang out with people who wore trenchcoats like everyday. Actually, it was about the same time as the shootings....hmm...

Music update: I actually downloaded quite a few songs today. I finally downloaded Fantasia in G, which I was looking for for a long time. I also got I Dreamed A Dream, mostly because of the now very famous audition by Susan Boyle. Don't judge a book by its cover, or else you might miss out on an incredible story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

I couldn't embed the video, but you absolutely MUST watch it! Over 35 million views in just over a week is amazing. This video is just so inspirational.

Just your typical Sunday night.

Now that I have a camera, I can do some picture blogs when I don't feel like writing! I pretty much spent the entirety of today doing homework (which I'm still not done with) and I went to a Wong Association dinner. I know, I think it's weird, too. I also found a pigeon trying to buy something from a bakery.

Note to self: Upload pictures bigger.

The 5 Second Rule.

Yeah...I couldn't get on the computer last night, so I couldn't write anything (Yay for putting two and two together!). I REALLY wish we could finish our friggin' film project sometime soon, but no, we have to wait like three weeks for the next opportunity. Sigh, that irritates me, especially since we were making a lot of good progress. I really think our movie can actually be somewhat frightening...I hope.

Ryan thinks I'm going to be overly attached to my camera, but I think he's overreacting. I mean, I haven't even thought of a name for the thing, yet! I still need to figure out the differences between all the different settings, too...

Here's something that's been bugging me for a while...you know those signs in restaurants that say that they can refuse service to anyone? Does that mean that makes it legal for them to refuse service to all black people? I mean, where is the line drawn? Is this a viable defense to be used in a court of law? Is it just for show? There's probably something I'm missing in the grand scheme of things, but it's just been on my mind...randomly...

Also, I'm really starting to believe that I have parasites, or something, because I kept eating today, and I'm still hungry. Well, then again...I had Cup of Noodles, waffles (High School Musical ones), and bread for dinner, so that might have something to do with the proverbial hole in stomach right now.

Oh yeah, something you guys might enjoy. Some old Pinole Valley film makers:

Blah.

Oi...today was so stressful. My tape got messed up, so the footage we got was all messed up, too. So, we have to redo the entire movie tomorrow. Sigh, I should try to do some homework tonight. Blah, this is a terrible blog. But on the other hand, my mom finally let me open my camera today! Probably because my video camera, like, died today.

When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid to wash my hair.

'Cause I might open my eyes, and find someone standing there.

Oh man. Filming this horror movie might be the death of me. I laid in bed last night for two hours, hearing noises and thinking about horrific scenes for the film project. I don't know how, but I suddenly assumed the role of co-director of our video. Though, I felt like more of the director today because I tried to keep everyone on task, well, TRIED. Well, at least we got some stuff done. We got several good scenes and plenty of awesome bloopers which will deserve a separate video of its own. I really want this video to work, and I want it to scare! So far, it's not frightening at all...hopefully I can change that.... Things that I'm worried about right now is continuity, angles, and scare factor: two of which I'm really relying on Ryan for. The third factor is pretty much up to my ideas, hopefully I can make them scary enough.

Also, I found out today that I am part flying squirrel. I was able to climb a tree about 25 in the air...twice. Yup, anything for the sake of art. Also, scaring Schwanka never gets old.

The most frightening monsters are not the ones that reside in the closet or under your bed.

They are the invisible enemies that lurk within us.

Sigh, going to the doctor's is so scary. The whole time I was there, I was worried about having to get a shot (Which I had to, in the end. Stupid chicken pox). Doctor told me how skinny I am, and made fun of how ticklish I am. Unfortunately, my doctor told me that he hears murmurs in my heart...which I'm guessing is not a good thing, and he wants me to get a blood test! Argh!! I hate needles!!! Apparently, my chest is so flat that it pushes down on my heart and is...moving it...or something to that effect. I'd be lying if I said that I'm not scared. I'd be lying if I said that I don't think I might die. Hopefully, it's nothing, though. I'm probably just making a mountain out of a Diglett hill. I remember the LAST time I got a blood test. It was right before going to Middle School. The needle couldn't poke throught my vein, so the lady had to get a bigger needle.Oh yeah. I finally read my Literary Magazine last night! I really want to submit something next year now. Heck, I think all of us should submit something! I came up with this poem today, but it's a little depressing...but look! It looks like a tree!

I feel just fine. Why can't I just leave?
Heart disease? Is that what you want me to believe?

Does destiny truly see fit to keep me bedridden?
Is the world really keeping all of these answers hidden?

The door opens. The news has come.

Will I live, or will I die?
Will I smile, or will I cry?

But there is no need to ask
About the truth he tries to mask.

I just need one look of the doctor's face
To tell me that I shall again never leave this place.

Oh, the humanity!

Well, today was a pretty fun day. I'm just gonna write a brief summary since my mind is all confuzzled with movies ideas right now.

First, we went to Applebee's, and it was the first time that I've ever eaten there. I don't know why, but when I started walking, I started to feel really sick. I was walking at a snail's pace and I felt like throwing up, but I refused to! I refused to waste twelve perfectly good dollars! I decided to fall behind and use the bathroom in the mall for a bit, and then everyone just assumes that I've gone missing! Is it my fault that I had to basically crawl all the way to Lauren's house? Luckily, I was able to remember where he lived. I wanted to lie down in the park for a while, but there were scary Mexicans and pedophiles waiting there.

Once I sat down on the couch and had some hot cocoa, my stomach started to feel better. Then I was hungry, hungry for some Pokémon battling! Though, I suffered an embarrassing 6-0 defeat, but I guess I made up for it with two consecutive wins. I've also been inspired to add another Pokémon to my team, but doing so requires MASSIVE reworking and reordering. Even though it's not amazingly good, I want to use it just for the sheer coolness factor. I want to try to move away from the incredibly cheap Pokémon in return for some fun stuff. I shall name it "Hindenburg." Wow, I just watched the newsreel of the disaster, and I can only describe it as...surreal...

If anyone's interested, here's my sister's deviantart website: http://iliketodoodle.deviantart.com/

It has all of her cakes, so far, and some drawings, too. She accepts donations, through me!

I feel so lazy today.

My ROFLcopter's cleared for take-off. I also found some interesting sheet music that I might be able to arrange for a concert band. Oh the possibilities...

That picture has double meaning today.

If a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing badly.

Hmm...I don't really feel like talking a lot today. I've just had Pokémon on the mind all day and I want to continue my training spree.

Just a brief summary of the day: We performed in front of Barnes & Nobles today, and I executed my solo with uh, some, er, success.... Okay, let's be honest--it was terrible. Hopefully I can get better before the 24th, since apparently we have to perform at SCHOOL during lunch. Great, playing in front strangers is hard enough, but performing in front of my comrades is much more difficult for me...

I think I've reach a new strata in my life. I finally got my very own printer in my room! No more asking other people to print stuff out for me. No more shouting obscenities when I realize there's no ink in my sister's printer, at midnight. No more IM'ing myself on different computers to send files. I can print anything I want to in a matter of seconds! Is this what normal people do? Because I feel kind of spoiled. I have my own room, my own bed, and now my own printer. The only downside is that my printer sounds like Satan's machine when it starts printing. It just sucks up the paper and spits it out with various things on it.

Platinum progress tracker: Well, it took all day, but I finally got the Pokémon I want it. It's one of my favorites and it should be a staying member of my squad. Whenever I see it, I just think ROFLcopter.

Have no fear of perfection--you'll never reach it.

Haha, that's actually some good advice.

I had the most realistic, yet absurd dream tonight. I got home and my eyes refused to stay open, so I decided to take a nap. I dreamt about oversleeping and being late for the Jazz Band gig tomorrow. Instead I ended up in English class and Chinatown.... The whole thing was just so weird, but I still believed that I was late! Thankfully I woke up, and it was all just a dream.

Sigh, tomorrow will be my first time ever playing a solo for strangers. As long as I don't get nervous, I should be fine. Aw heck, who am I kidding...I get nervous so easily. I also stress out very easily, too, and I do not work well under pressure. My brain just turns to porridge...like I'm in some Salvador Dalí painting...
Music update: Yay! We haven't had one of these in a while. Today, my curiosity of the Academy Awards was piqued. Luckily, Wikipedia supplied me with its boundless information. I looked up all the Best Pictures of the past 80 years, and I got a little interested in their soundtracks. But, in the end, I only downloaded the Main Theme from Schindler's List, which sounds like a really sad movie, and I got the soundtrack for The Pianist. All of the piano songs in the movie are Chopin pieces. I knew those songs sounded familiar!

Missed it by THAT much!

I finally got an actual compliment from Nez today! At least, I guess you could call it a compliment. He said my solo was really pretty, but since he said while I was still playing, it took a lot of self control to stop myself from laughing. It was just so out of the blue, and people started looking at me, I'm suprised that I didn't mess up. I guess I was having a good-reed day, those are nice to have.

We also had "Braniac Day" at school today. I find this quite offensive to my race! It's ironic that today was also our weekly Ghetto Thursday. Man, if I had it my way, we'd have Larghetto Thursdays.

Sigh, I came so close to beating Richmond today, but alas, it wasn't quite went to be. It was close though. It was something like 12-21, 23-21, 18-21. At least I found out that my new racket is pretty good, though. The only problem was that Daniel and I kept hitting it out. I was surprised at my own power.

Platinum progress tracker: The vision of my ideal team seems to be getting clearer with each passing day. I also have a two Pokémon combination that people may find annoying.... Ah well.

Sorry that this is so short and so late. My history homework took longer than expected...

It's getting dark now and there's not much left to say

Just leave a light out each night and I'll find the way.

Hmm...it seems like there are days when I have loads to talk about, and there are days like today when I draw big question marks in my head.

Well today, I failed at drawing a scroll and pegbox of a violin on the back of my hand, but I only did it to remind me to download Beethoven's Violin Concerto in D major, which we listened to in English class today. I think it's pretty neat how Ms. McGrady talked about the violin-playing boy, Juliek, whom I just talked about yesterday! I think he was playing the second movement, the Larghetto, which is the slow and sad part. It's sad...I didn't even know that he dies right after playing the concerto and his violin is smashed. Maybe I should learn to finish the chapters of books more often.... At least he didn't die in vain, I'm pretty I'll always recognize Beethoven's Violin Concerto in D major as Juliek's song from now on.

"The whole of his life was gliding on the strings--

his lost hopes, his charred past, his extinguished future. He played as he would never play again."

Man, I am so dumb. First of all, I brought my saxophone with me right after 4th period and hauled it all the way to El Cerrito (I almost forgot it when we left our school!). Then, when we came back I realized that I could've...wait a second...I'm not stupid! The woodwind cabinets are closed during brass lessons! Woohoo, my brain is still capable of simple function! Although, that still doesn't make up for the fact that I didn't even touch my saxophone after I got home...I was too tired...

I got my SAT results back today, and I got an 1880. I know I could've done better, but I guess it's not a terrible score. I would still like to get a score that resembles a more recent year in history. Sigh, maybe I'm just shooting too my aspirations too high. I'm terrible at Halo, so I should realize that my attempts at high goals will probably be sniped away by someone else.

Platinum progress tracker: The title for this section is pretty ironic, considering how very little progress I've been making lately. I've decided to change my party AGAIN. Sigh, I'll probably never be content with my Pokémon.

Oh yeah, if you guys haven't stalked me on Facebook yet (Geez, where have you been?), I've been adding stuff to my quotes section. I've made it a point for myself to find one quote that I thought meant the most to me, or was the most memorable, in the books that I read in English. I found one today (The one in the title) from the book Night. It describes a young Polish boy who is made to run over forty miles to another Jewish death camp. Despite being trampled by dozens of other prisoners, all he cares about his the safety of his violin. It just touches me how such a young boy can be such a dedicated musician, even in the face of death. It's that kind of dedication that I so greatly admire, and which I seem to lack.

For any candles that you burn that I might see

I'll pay you back when I've returned.

Gosh, I feel so bored right now. I have feeling that I should be doing homework, but I don't know what homework I have to do. I want to train Pokémon, too, but I can't think of where to train them. I think my brain has turned to porridge.

I'm gonna wear all black tomorrow! I hope I'm not the only one who does...I don't want to look like some crazy emo child (Don't want to show people my true colors, haha, black...). I hope it's not sunny tomorrow, or else I'll absorb all the heat like a burnt sponge. It should rain! That'll be fun! I even have an umbrella that will match! I'll also go to El Cerrito in all black, too. Everyone will be like, "Wtf, mate!"

Ow, I got injured this morning by incredibly sharp drawer door corner...thing. On top of that, my right leg still hurts from a cramp I got Saturday morning. I woke up in the middle of the night, screamed in pain for a bit, kicked the wall, and then I fell back asleep.

Woohoo, we get SAT scores tomorrow! I'm shooting for a 2000+, but I was sick that day, and I didn't know what I was doing half the time. Sigh, there's always the fall, I guess.

Platinum progress tracker: I pretty much overhauled my team, but I think I know who I want now. I have 4/6 of my guys more or less ready. The other two will take a lot more time, though. I DID get one beastly Pokémon today, though, and it's awesome. Hopefully, the rest of my team will follow it's example of beastiality...wait, that's not the right word, is it?

Disclaimer: Do not read if you are happy and/or content with life.

I feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown. I feel like I'm crying. I just want to disappear for a while, for time to pause for a bit, for space to stop expanding. I guess people just...forgot...that I have feelings, too. I can't blame them. Selfish people never have feelings. The bad guy never feels any sort of sadness. I guess this is what I get for being such a terrible and selfish person.

Sigh...I hate spring.

I hate allergies.

For every story that I bottle up in time

I'll tell you each when I've returned.

Sorry that I didn't post anything yesterday, though, I doubt I was missed much. It WAS the first time that I didn't post because I just didn't feel like it, though. Heck, I don't even feel like writing one right NOW. I'm only doing it because there's nothing else to do.

Well, today, I went to visit some relatives who are no longer living (Just a nicer way of saying I went to the cemetery, multiple ones in fact). First was my grandma, who is still in her house, funnily enough. Then, it was...uh, my grandpa's dad all the way in San Francisco, I think (Heck, I don't know half of the people who are buried down there, and I'm too scared to ask). Then in Oakland, I visited my aunt, other grandma, great-grandparents, and some other relatives. Chinese people generally put out food for the departed, and I thought it was hilarious that my cousin and uncle had left 7-Up and Pepsi's (To hold down containers) earlier this morning.

My stomach and throat really hurt right now. I guess this is my punishment for being so stupid and dumping a whole bunch of salt on my dinner, which I had at IKEA of all places. And after drinking coffee, my body feels so weird...

Also a funny story that my sister told me about AP Bio: While taking the AP test, in response to a short answer question, her friend drew a picture of Mrs. Jesfjeld as a cell, lysing or exploding. Little did she know, the teacher gets to look at everyone's test.

I like to eat mongoose.

Lalala...my blogs are getting shorter and shorter by the day! I've been REALLY lazy at home lately. Heck, I've kind of been too lazy to play Pokémon. I also forgot to turn in my Reader Note sfor History, for the third day in the row. Sigh, life has been a bit hectic this past week, and I guess that's nature's way of telling me that I'm ready for Spring Break.

Platinum progress tracker: I finally got my team together, except one but I can live without it for a while. I could start battling people now, I guess.

I promise that my posts will be longer when I get my head sorted out!

Don't lie to me, or your nose will grow!

Woo! I think I've got a good selection of music for our horror project. I've thought of an interesting idea, and some scenes we could do, too. Listening to so much scary music is kind of depressing, too. I've also set a personal guideline for myself: To only use music that I already have. Surprisingly, I have quite a few scary songs, which kind of perplexes me.

I love the Dark Masters arch in Digimon! I always feel so bad for Puppetmon, though. Even though he's a deranged psychopath, he just wants friends...

Living in the past is fun!